Well, it's war, and political dimwits Bush and Blair have condemned thousand of Iraqis to death, while the only person with the means to escape the whole bloody nightmare is Saddam Hussein. Get Mr Bush's latest speech here.

Don't fool yourselves, kids, it's not about regime change, oil, WMD or human rights, it's about US domination.

Let me see, who's more likely to know about Saddam's weapons - is it Dr Blix, who's been in and out of Iraqi factories for the past few months, or is it Mr Bush, who's busy kicking a football round his garden in the good ol' US of A? Answers on a postcard of Jacques Chirac.

Let me see, might Saddam perhaps want weapons in order to defend himself against no-rules Israel, World Leader in Ignoring UN Resolutions?

Let me see, average American citizen wondering 'why does the world hate us so much?', look no further than Mr Bush - now I know most of you didn't vote for him, especially residents of Florida who turned up on election day only to find that they were criminals (look out for 'Jeb Bush denies any involvement in eating all the pies') - and his 'we think you don't like us, so we're gonna bomb you' foreign policy, so you really need to do something about him. I will be doing my best not to vote for Mr Blair the next chance I get (unless I have somehow become a criminal - unlike Mr Blair whose moral validity has been guaranteed by G W Bush).

Let me see, is the US invading Iraq to disarm it? Of the weapons nobody knows if it has? How much of Iraq's arsenal was destroyed by bombing in 1991? (clue: not a lot) How much was destroyed by continuous inspection? (clue: the opposite of not a lot). So how is bombing Iraq going to disarm it?

Let me see, who will be next? Mr Bush gave us a shopping list some time ago - Iraq, Iran, North Korea, Syria, Chalvey. Perhaps it'll be recent anti-Saddam ally but 'kernel of evil' Saudi Arabia. Or will it be the American people, being spied on (by the Land of the Free), having their information censored (by the Land of the...er...Free) and then being subjected to toxic waste from World's Number One Polluter, the US Military? Oooooh this is fun, Mr Bush - can I have a go on your diplomacy dartboard?

Let me see, is diplomacy dead and a new world order is forming? Can it really be true that this war was already decided on years ago by Richard 'Prince of Darkness' Perle (don't look into his eyes!) and his jelly-eared goons on the Defense Policy Board and no amount of dithering, vetoing, House of Commons voting or actual Iraqi disarmament was going to stop it? (clue: yes).



Come on, Mr Blair, even the kids are walking out! The kids! You can't fool them with your 'going the extra mile for diplomacy'. The kids can tell, you see - they can spot liars - not even Justin 'Fry Me Some Liver' Timberlake could convince them that killing half a nation, not to mention thousands of soldiers (admittedly, getting shot at is an occupational hazard for...er...soldiers) is a good idea for world peace.


So, you can probably guess where I am in relation to the fence on this situation. People will protest to no avail, the US military will bomb its own soldiers, Saddam will get away and rent the cave next to Mr bin Laden's, Ariel Sharon will have a permanent smile, Bush will turn his attention to Saudi or Iran or Syria, Iraq will be flattened and LOTS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE WILL DIE. I think Mr Blair must have missed the last bit.

I hope Neighbours won't be affected. I like a bit of perspective.