Unfortunately, I have been watching The Salon on C4, which is making me worry. I keep watching it though it doesn't seem to have any merit whatsoever. Why, if I spend my entire day at work, do I want to watch a programme about other people's day at work? I'm not even interested in hair (except the hair on a cat's ear). I suspect that it's only one step from there to a real-life The Office. Everyone thinks their office is funny.

I've added to my array of daily tablicks by taking ginseng. I haven't a clue what it does but it looks like rabbit poo. Oh...it's supposed to relieve tiredness, apparently. And it's an aphrodisiac. No wonder it looks like rabbit poo. Oh well, at least it supplements my diet of Nurofen and Marmite.

Wibboty has a special guest this week, namely Lumps, a furry piece of simian-ware rescued from Boots.

Watched Brotherhood of the Wolf the other night. It was like Dangerous Liaisons directed by John Woo, with an eyebrow-raising cameo from the Hound of the Baskervilles. Nice scenery though. And trees. But lots of people faffing off to Paris then coming back and stabbing Tricky Dicky from Eastenders (honest). Oh, now there's a bloke having his arse waxed.

Good day for music today, The Mountain Goats, Will Oldham alter-ego Bonnie Prince Billy, and ace Solid Steel cut-up hip-hop mix from Hexstatic. Yes.

Well, I am having trouble extracting myself from the sticky mire of Telewestness, while connection speeds are now the WORST I have ever experienced - even if it does reach anything acceptable, the connection drops after 5 minutes or so. On top of that, Telewest rang me up today asking me why I was 'defecting' to BT. It's a good thing they rang me before the TV died (3rd time this week) otherwise I would probably have sworn at them. So, they're going to sort it out on...Friday. Sigh.

Corporate Insurance Pedants have decided that my office is only to be used for business purposes (which therefore outlaws at least 50% of employees) so we can't use it to make noise with drums and stuff. Neither can we use our second option, the church next door (it's a £75-a-day 'suggested' donation), so I was reduced to posting on the Community Forum of This Is Slough which may have come up trumps, but we'll see.

(Lack of telly has been replaced by Chorlton & The Wheelies DVD)

Freaky 6-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon thing happened to me yesterday while I was looking at the Digitonal site, which contained a link to plasticbag, which contained a link to Quinquireme, which has a link to here. I don't know what this means. Nothing, probably.

At school I have been having regexp trouble, though I have built a pause button (which actually works), and as usual my original remit (check if words match other words which might be there by mistake) has expanded so it looks like I will be building some sort of concordance manager thing. Bugdozer was already there (minimal link warning).

Wibboty is now famous. He promises Internet Revolution, special guests and vacant staring.

Have been reading about online gaming for the PS2, which is fairly exciting - especially if GTA 4 ever sees the light of day. I wonder what Queen Victoria would have thought of it. When she wasn't busy being Davros, that is.

Anyway, I haven't got any real news, but who cares.

Have decided to ditch the excessive rubbishness of Telewest in favour of BT. I'd like to know why Telewest are actually known as Telewest Broadband, when after 2 years I am still waiting for said broadband to arrive in sunny Slough. Perhaps they should rename themselves to Telewest 2 Minutes Uptime If You're Lucky. Anyway, roll on BT, it surely can't be any worse. The only wood I can find to touch (no gags please) is the spent match which fell out of Sings Reign Rebuilder by Set Fire To Flames, which is only being kept out of the cd player by Panjabi MC's only slightly nuts Mundian To Bach Ke.

Meanwhile at school we (me and someone else) are still waiting to hear from our HR department about whether we can turn one of our conference rooms into a rehearsal room for noisy people with drums and guitars (us). No luck yet. Priorities, people! It's holding back our near-competent version of Belinda Carlisle's famous Chalvey Is A Place In Slough!

Anyway, I have been playing with XML at home now as well as at school. It's fiddly. But I never liked stylesheets, I instinctively put them on my Things That Are Bad list.

Am propping up mid-table in Slough's 'electronic' chart, according to mp3.com. I face challenges from the ineptly-typed 'GRAFFITTI RECORSDS' who also suffer from Lack Of Inventive Song Names syndrome, and 'Bloodwurm', who suffer from Glut Of Inventive Song Names syndrome (pity they didn't apply it to their band name). Whereas I myself suffer from Must Capitalise Things syndrome.

I have discovered that breakfast makes you hungry. Or it could be the foul-smelling tablicks I am taking (cod liver oil, garlic, vitamin c, parma violets etc.).