Well, the Slough Bonfirework Extravatacular turned out to be a damp squib, like a dyslexic Kraken. Watched Lord of the Rings instead while eating seaweed. Don't know whose idea it was to make the Horn of Gondor sound like a parping fish van, but it diverted all the humour from Elrond's eyebrow/mullet combo, which I expect was in revenge for all those times he got stuffed in Beorn's cupboard with a dead warg.

Have been having fun with Reason except I'm not sure I want to spend £300 on the full version because I can only seem to get delayed farting noises out of it, and I can do those myself for free. It looks nice though, lots of knobs to twiddle without actually knowing what they do, just like the cooker.

n.b. Quinquireme's Mothman/Transformers theory was that they were both on TV for a while, then suddenly they weren't. Or 'almost suddenly'. Maybe.